When I was little, I used to always carry a purse around pretending to be a "big girl". It would just have random stuff that I found around the house in it, usually bits of paper and some toys. Also lipstick. There would always, always be lipstick in my purse because my mom had lipstick in her purse, and I wanted to be just like her. It was almost always a plastic tube of fake lipstick, but the idea was there. I couldn't wait until the day when I would be a real grown up who carried around a purse and wore lipstick and did really cool grownup stuff.
Well here I am some 18-odd years later, five years past the age where I am legally considered an adult and two years past the age where I can legally drink. I own a purse that I use semi frequently, and if you open it up you will find my wallet, phone, keys (sometimes. Today was not one of those days, I locked myself out. Whoops.), and.............a tube of lipstick in a very pretty shade of mauve (also, what the shit kind of a color name is mauve?! It doesn't even look like a real word). I just realized this the other day and it absolutely blew my mind. Like when people look at me, they see an adult. A grown up woman doing grown up woman stuff carrying around her purse that totally has lipstick in it. There's just one little thing....
I always thought that by the time I had real lipstick in my real purse, I would also have my life together.
Sunday, October 6, 2013
Wednesday, October 2, 2013
Why I shouldn't leave my apartment
Today I had the day off, and I strongly considered staying in all day and watching Netflix. I've been slowly working my way through "Sons Of Anarchy", but after the episode where a neo-Nazi stabs a guy in the eye with a broken mop handle in prison, I switched the the more family friendly "Undercover Bosses". Its amazing, everyone should watch it if they want to feel all warm and fuzzy inside. But then my roommate invited me to go to Waimanalo (a beach here) and I was like "ehhhhh......." she goes "Hannah, if you don't come are you going to actually leave the apartment?" and I realized that I should probably go and get some fresh air.
I decided I should be productive, so first I went to drop off the rent check. I would like to note that I have lived in my building for almost a year now and I still have to put the address of the rental company into my phone to find it. Its literally 5 minutes away from my apartment, and yet I can never remember which street to turn down. So I drop off the rent, then go to the bank to deposit some money. After depositing the money, I decided to go to Buffalo Wild Wings, because that shit is my jam.
Its like the universe knew that I shouldn't be spending my money on things like B-dubs. While I was being all productive, the weather was beautiful. The second I left the bank to go and pick up my food, it started raining. OK UNIVERSE, I UNDERSTAND THAT I AM FINANCIALLY IRRESPONSIBLE AND NOT A VERY HEALTHY EATER. So I cruise over getting soggier and soggier and I managed to hit every single red light between Safeway and Buffalo Wild Wings. So dumb. While I was stopped at one of the lights, there was a large man on the corner waiting to cross the street wearing a bright yellow shirt. On the shirt was written
"I LOVE THE SOUND YOU MAKE WHEN YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP". Underneath that was a happy face with duct tape across the mouth.
No joke. This man then looks at me, gets a big grin on his face and goes "I LOVE YOU!!!!!!" then starts laughing his ass off, while I sat there waiting for the light to change getting more and more uncomfortable by my new love and the fact that it was raining.
This is why I hate leaving my apartment.
On the plus side though, I totally forgot that Buffalo Wild Wings has a wings special on Tuesdays, so I got my wings half off. Which was awesome.
Sunday, September 29, 2013
Fishing for compliments, or Hannah's a huge bitch.
DISCLAIMERS (On the off hand that anyone actually starts reading this and gets offended, I got my ass covered).
1. If I sound like a huge bitch in this, its because I'm in a terrible mood. Plus if you fall into this category of what I'm describing, this is some shit that you need to hear.
2. I understand that sometimes insecurities can take on a life of their own and turn into something really, really bad. Eating disorders and self harm are no joke and are not to be taken lightly. If you or someone you know is suffering from anything like this, please go get help. There are a lot of people in the world who think you are wonderful. That being said........
REALLY INSECURE PEOPLE ANNOY THE SHIT OUT OF ME.
Don't get me wrong, everyone on the planet has insecurities, myself included. To name a few: I could certainly stand to lose a couple lbs, I think I'm a really awkward height, my legs are two different sizes because of my knee injury, and don't even get me started on how self-conscious I am about my last name (after 23 years, you'd think I'd be used to it. I'm not). But I would really appreciate it if everyone could just keep their insecurities to themselves.
Like I said above, I know that insecurities can turn into something bad. When I say that I'm annoyed with insecure people, I'm not talking about the ones who hate themselves so much that they hurt their bodies. I'm talking about the really pretty girls who know they're pretty and yet are constantly fishing for compliments.
We all know these girls on Facebook and Instagram. They're the ones who clearly put a lot of effort into their appearance, then post a bunch of pictures of themselves (selfies, if you will) with captions like "Omg I look so terrible!! #nomakeup #ratchet #sogross". Then they get blown up with comments telling them how pretty they are. While these girls are annoying as sin, its the ones who do it in real life that annoy the absolute fuck out of me. For example:
The girls who have great bodies, put on a dress or something and they say "oh my god I hate wearing this, it makes me look fat." IF YOU THINK THAT SOMETHING MAKES YOU LOOK FAT, THEN DON'T FUCKING WEAR IT. Simple as that. If you have put effort into your appearance, don't devalue yourself by making it sound like you look like shit all the time. You're just making yourself feel bad, and for what? The 3 second high you get when someone tells you you're pretty? THAT IS SOMETHING THAT YOU ALREADY KNOW, YOU JUST NEED TO HEAR SOMEONE ELSE SAY IT. If you have taken the time to make yourself look good, take pride in it! Confidence is sexy, you'll feel better about yourself, and I won't have to hear you bitch about how terrible you don't actually look.
Because honestly, I'm getting so sick of it that I'm going to star agreeing with people. The next time someone bitches to me about how they look fat or ugly, they will get zero compliments from me. I am 100% tapped out. If I think you look nice I will tell you, because I love giving compliments to people, but not if you're fishing for them. Even if I think you look pretty, if you tell me you look like shit I'm going to be like "yup".
I AM SICK OF YOUR SHIT, GIRL WORLD.
1. If I sound like a huge bitch in this, its because I'm in a terrible mood. Plus if you fall into this category of what I'm describing, this is some shit that you need to hear.
2. I understand that sometimes insecurities can take on a life of their own and turn into something really, really bad. Eating disorders and self harm are no joke and are not to be taken lightly. If you or someone you know is suffering from anything like this, please go get help. There are a lot of people in the world who think you are wonderful. That being said........
REALLY INSECURE PEOPLE ANNOY THE SHIT OUT OF ME.
Don't get me wrong, everyone on the planet has insecurities, myself included. To name a few: I could certainly stand to lose a couple lbs, I think I'm a really awkward height, my legs are two different sizes because of my knee injury, and don't even get me started on how self-conscious I am about my last name (after 23 years, you'd think I'd be used to it. I'm not). But I would really appreciate it if everyone could just keep their insecurities to themselves.
Like I said above, I know that insecurities can turn into something bad. When I say that I'm annoyed with insecure people, I'm not talking about the ones who hate themselves so much that they hurt their bodies. I'm talking about the really pretty girls who know they're pretty and yet are constantly fishing for compliments.
We all know these girls on Facebook and Instagram. They're the ones who clearly put a lot of effort into their appearance, then post a bunch of pictures of themselves (selfies, if you will) with captions like "Omg I look so terrible!! #nomakeup #ratchet #sogross". Then they get blown up with comments telling them how pretty they are. While these girls are annoying as sin, its the ones who do it in real life that annoy the absolute fuck out of me. For example:
The girls who have great bodies, put on a dress or something and they say "oh my god I hate wearing this, it makes me look fat." IF YOU THINK THAT SOMETHING MAKES YOU LOOK FAT, THEN DON'T FUCKING WEAR IT. Simple as that. If you have put effort into your appearance, don't devalue yourself by making it sound like you look like shit all the time. You're just making yourself feel bad, and for what? The 3 second high you get when someone tells you you're pretty? THAT IS SOMETHING THAT YOU ALREADY KNOW, YOU JUST NEED TO HEAR SOMEONE ELSE SAY IT. If you have taken the time to make yourself look good, take pride in it! Confidence is sexy, you'll feel better about yourself, and I won't have to hear you bitch about how terrible you don't actually look.
Because honestly, I'm getting so sick of it that I'm going to star agreeing with people. The next time someone bitches to me about how they look fat or ugly, they will get zero compliments from me. I am 100% tapped out. If I think you look nice I will tell you, because I love giving compliments to people, but not if you're fishing for them. Even if I think you look pretty, if you tell me you look like shit I'm going to be like "yup".
I AM SICK OF YOUR SHIT, GIRL WORLD.
Cool as le cucumber
Oh hello there! Here are some cool things that have happened in my life:
KNEE RELATED:
I GOT CLEARED TO RUN AND SWIM!!!!! Frank kicks so much ass. Now granted its just freestyle kicking and jogging in a straight line, but its something. Less cool, my physical therapist had me run down and back in the parking lot (40 ft? I don't know, I'm pretty bad at judging distance) and it was rough business. Turns out I'm in really bad shape and pretty bad at running. I don't know what I expected, I mean I've only been running a handful of times since I broke my foot, which happened when I was 17. I'm 23 now, so that's a lot of time spent not running. Whatever, the important thing is that my knee is making some serious progress. I also keep forgetting that I'm actually allowed to kick my legs and whenever I go into the ocean I spend the first couple minutes only using my arms before I remember that I can kick again.
I'M OFFICIALLY DONE WITH PHYSICAL THERAPY!!!!! Speaking of physical therapy, I just realized that in a blog that's supposed to chronicle my recovery from knee surgery I never actually talked about what I did at physical therapy. Whoops. When I first started, it was all about getting my motion back and the swelling down. It was a lot of stretching and a lot of massaging (glorious). Then as my knee grew stronger, other exercises were slowly added until it became a full fledged workout. By the end of the four months I was doing lunges, squats, leg press (160 lbs. with both legs, 80 lbs. single leg), wall sits and balancing exercises. I'm also a lot more confident on stairs, which is pretty nice. I still have a long way to go strength wise, but I just keep telling myself that someday my quads will be the same size and that people really can't tell the difference right now unless they really focus on it.
NOT KNEE RELATED:
MY FRIEND NIC CAME TO VISIT!!!!! It was wonderful. We didn't do anything exciting (standard vacation stuff. Drink too much, get too much sun, the usual), but it was so nice having a familiar face around. Nic and I were neighbors in one of the most ridiculous neighborhoods in the world (fondly known as "La Plaza Vieja") and had a couple of classes together. Through Model United Nations, we became pretty good friends. Its awesome to think about how our random "Fat Kid Saturday" hangouts turned into him visiting me in Hawaii. I was sad to see him go.
Last night Clint Eastwood's ex wife came into my work with the University of Hawaii's basketball coach. Turns out they're dating, and Mr. Eastwood is dating the coach's ex wife. So that's bizarre. And tonight the current Miss Hawaii, USA came into the restaurant, along with the gaggle of pageant girls who are vying for the crown this year. Let me tell you, nothing hits the ego quite as hard as greeting a group of beyond gorgeous women when you are sunburnt to within an inch of your life. Always remember to wear your sunscreen, kids. Otherwise you get skin cancer and a bruised ego.
KNEE RELATED:
I GOT CLEARED TO RUN AND SWIM!!!!! Frank kicks so much ass. Now granted its just freestyle kicking and jogging in a straight line, but its something. Less cool, my physical therapist had me run down and back in the parking lot (40 ft? I don't know, I'm pretty bad at judging distance) and it was rough business. Turns out I'm in really bad shape and pretty bad at running. I don't know what I expected, I mean I've only been running a handful of times since I broke my foot, which happened when I was 17. I'm 23 now, so that's a lot of time spent not running. Whatever, the important thing is that my knee is making some serious progress. I also keep forgetting that I'm actually allowed to kick my legs and whenever I go into the ocean I spend the first couple minutes only using my arms before I remember that I can kick again.
I'M OFFICIALLY DONE WITH PHYSICAL THERAPY!!!!! Speaking of physical therapy, I just realized that in a blog that's supposed to chronicle my recovery from knee surgery I never actually talked about what I did at physical therapy. Whoops. When I first started, it was all about getting my motion back and the swelling down. It was a lot of stretching and a lot of massaging (glorious). Then as my knee grew stronger, other exercises were slowly added until it became a full fledged workout. By the end of the four months I was doing lunges, squats, leg press (160 lbs. with both legs, 80 lbs. single leg), wall sits and balancing exercises. I'm also a lot more confident on stairs, which is pretty nice. I still have a long way to go strength wise, but I just keep telling myself that someday my quads will be the same size and that people really can't tell the difference right now unless they really focus on it.
NOT KNEE RELATED:
MY FRIEND NIC CAME TO VISIT!!!!! It was wonderful. We didn't do anything exciting (standard vacation stuff. Drink too much, get too much sun, the usual), but it was so nice having a familiar face around. Nic and I were neighbors in one of the most ridiculous neighborhoods in the world (fondly known as "La Plaza Vieja") and had a couple of classes together. Through Model United Nations, we became pretty good friends. Its awesome to think about how our random "Fat Kid Saturday" hangouts turned into him visiting me in Hawaii. I was sad to see him go.
Last night Clint Eastwood's ex wife came into my work with the University of Hawaii's basketball coach. Turns out they're dating, and Mr. Eastwood is dating the coach's ex wife. So that's bizarre. And tonight the current Miss Hawaii, USA came into the restaurant, along with the gaggle of pageant girls who are vying for the crown this year. Let me tell you, nothing hits the ego quite as hard as greeting a group of beyond gorgeous women when you are sunburnt to within an inch of your life. Always remember to wear your sunscreen, kids. Otherwise you get skin cancer and a bruised ego.
Wednesday, September 18, 2013
The Pink Power Ranger
Fact: I am sooooo terrible at being a grown up.
First of all, I live 100% in the moment. I never think about the future. Ever. I didn't even start thinking about where I wanted to go to college until the second semester of my senior year, and then I made the decision by flipping a coin. Same with life after graduating. I had no plans until Easter when I decided on a whim to move to Hawaii with a friend. I also have this weird thing where I'm really bad about remembering to buy things to eat for breakfast. I'll go to the grocery store and come back with $100 worth of things to eat for lunch and dinner, then wake up the next morning and have to go to the coffee shop down the street because I forgot to buy bagels or something.
Speaking of which, I am terrible with money. Back home, I didn't think I was that bad with money. I was never particularly worried. Turned out I was just deluding myself because I rarely had to pay for food. No joke, my grandma's contribution to my education was getting me a meal plan every semester (even when I lived off campus) and if I ran out of swipes or was too lazy to go grocery shopping, I would go to my mom or aunt's house and get something to eat. When I moved to Hawaii, I remembered that I didn't know how to cook, so I spend too much money on take-out. I'm getting a little better, but holy crap. I suck at budgeting. And I am having a hell of a time beating down my Starbucks addiction. Seriously, is there a 12-step program for that business? Money is dumb. I don't understand how people do it.
Careers. Dear Lord, don't even get me started on careers. Growing up, I wanted to be everything on the planet. Astronaut, princess, doctor, writer, actress, musician, ballerina, professional athlete, you name it, I wanted to do it. On paper, it looks like I have aspirations and goals. I have a degrees in both Political Science and International affairs. Obviously with degrees like that, I have plans, right? Nope. Not even a little bit. I have no idea what I want to be when I grow up. I've thought of so many possibilities, but nothing has really jumped out at me. Foreign Service Officer with the State Department? Meh. Work for the United Nations? Nah, they don't accomplish much. Go to law school and become a lawyer? Maybe. Go to grad school? Probably should. Want to know what the last thing that I knew without one tiny sliver of a doubt that I wanted to be? The Pink Power Ranger. I was five and she was the coolest chick I had ever seen. Plus she got to be with the White Ranger, and he was a hottie. What was his name, Zach? Tommy? Whatever, its not important.
And you know what? Given the opportunity, I would become the Pink Power Ranger without a second's hesitation, and at 23 years old, that's a little scary.
First of all, I live 100% in the moment. I never think about the future. Ever. I didn't even start thinking about where I wanted to go to college until the second semester of my senior year, and then I made the decision by flipping a coin. Same with life after graduating. I had no plans until Easter when I decided on a whim to move to Hawaii with a friend. I also have this weird thing where I'm really bad about remembering to buy things to eat for breakfast. I'll go to the grocery store and come back with $100 worth of things to eat for lunch and dinner, then wake up the next morning and have to go to the coffee shop down the street because I forgot to buy bagels or something.
Speaking of which, I am terrible with money. Back home, I didn't think I was that bad with money. I was never particularly worried. Turned out I was just deluding myself because I rarely had to pay for food. No joke, my grandma's contribution to my education was getting me a meal plan every semester (even when I lived off campus) and if I ran out of swipes or was too lazy to go grocery shopping, I would go to my mom or aunt's house and get something to eat. When I moved to Hawaii, I remembered that I didn't know how to cook, so I spend too much money on take-out. I'm getting a little better, but holy crap. I suck at budgeting. And I am having a hell of a time beating down my Starbucks addiction. Seriously, is there a 12-step program for that business? Money is dumb. I don't understand how people do it.
Careers. Dear Lord, don't even get me started on careers. Growing up, I wanted to be everything on the planet. Astronaut, princess, doctor, writer, actress, musician, ballerina, professional athlete, you name it, I wanted to do it. On paper, it looks like I have aspirations and goals. I have a degrees in both Political Science and International affairs. Obviously with degrees like that, I have plans, right? Nope. Not even a little bit. I have no idea what I want to be when I grow up. I've thought of so many possibilities, but nothing has really jumped out at me. Foreign Service Officer with the State Department? Meh. Work for the United Nations? Nah, they don't accomplish much. Go to law school and become a lawyer? Maybe. Go to grad school? Probably should. Want to know what the last thing that I knew without one tiny sliver of a doubt that I wanted to be? The Pink Power Ranger. I was five and she was the coolest chick I had ever seen. Plus she got to be with the White Ranger, and he was a hottie. What was his name, Zach? Tommy? Whatever, its not important.
And you know what? Given the opportunity, I would become the Pink Power Ranger without a second's hesitation, and at 23 years old, that's a little scary.
Wednesday, August 21, 2013
Thumbs up for Frank!
To explain the title, when I found out I was going to get knee surgery, I originally thought I was going to get a cadaver part to reconstruct the ACL. My friend started calling it "Frankenleg", which then got shortened to Frank. Above is a picture of Frank in all of his glory.
I just got back from my doctor's appointment and considering the last time I was there I started to cry, it went soooooo well. He said that the graft is healing up nicely, and I just need to work a little bit more on my range of motion and building the muscle mass of my quad back up. So I have another month of physical therapy, then I see the doc again and hopefully get cleared to run. All in all, I give it two thumbs up. Way to go Frank!
Saturday, August 17, 2013
Whomp Whomp
Good Lord, I am terrible at this whole blogging thing. Sorry about that. (Because so many people are clearly reading this)
ANYWAY.
So what's been happening in my life? Well, here's the not knee related information:
* I finally heard from the guy that had been ignoring me, and I got super excited and answered because I forgot that my plan was to ignore him. Whoops. He invited me to a block party he was throwing, which actually ended up being a lot of fun. Unfortunately, the block party was technically as a goodbye party because he's being deployed in September. Whomp whomp.
BUT. I got this super pretty picture of a sunset.
* I am loving my job. I went out with a bunch of my coworkers recently and it was way too much fun.
* I am struggling so hard to figure out what I want to do with the rest of my life. But that's a story for another time.
* Weird people have been hitting on me like its their job. I don't know what the deal is, but apparently I'm what the crazies in Hawaii are looking for. Its been an exciting couple of weeks.
* I'm actually being sort of responsible with my money. So that's neato.
Knee related information:
* I finished my last physical therapy appointment! So that's exciting.
* My doctor's office back home and my doctor's office here had a rare moment of successful communication, and I was finally able to schedule a doctor's appointment like a normal person. Granted, its a three month check-up and I never did the six week one, but that's not the point. After spending months playing monkey-in-the-middle with doctors, this was one of the best moments ever. At this appointment I find out if I need more physical therapy to make it stronger, and when I can start running and doing other physical activities again. This is exciting stuff, people!
* I was a big old dumbass at work the other night and squatted down to help someone fix a table. My knee was not a happy camper, and I've been trying to take it easy for the last couple of days. Stooooooops.
I can't think of anything else to write. I hope everyone's having a fantastic life, and I'll catch you on the flip side.
Next time:
THE PINK POWER RANGER, OR WHAT DOES HANNAH WANT TO BE WHEN SHE GROWS UP?
ANYWAY.
So what's been happening in my life? Well, here's the not knee related information:
* I finally heard from the guy that had been ignoring me, and I got super excited and answered because I forgot that my plan was to ignore him. Whoops. He invited me to a block party he was throwing, which actually ended up being a lot of fun. Unfortunately, the block party was technically as a goodbye party because he's being deployed in September. Whomp whomp.
BUT. I got this super pretty picture of a sunset.
* I am loving my job. I went out with a bunch of my coworkers recently and it was way too much fun.
* I am struggling so hard to figure out what I want to do with the rest of my life. But that's a story for another time.
* Weird people have been hitting on me like its their job. I don't know what the deal is, but apparently I'm what the crazies in Hawaii are looking for. Its been an exciting couple of weeks.
* I'm actually being sort of responsible with my money. So that's neato.
Knee related information:
* I finished my last physical therapy appointment! So that's exciting.
* My doctor's office back home and my doctor's office here had a rare moment of successful communication, and I was finally able to schedule a doctor's appointment like a normal person. Granted, its a three month check-up and I never did the six week one, but that's not the point. After spending months playing monkey-in-the-middle with doctors, this was one of the best moments ever. At this appointment I find out if I need more physical therapy to make it stronger, and when I can start running and doing other physical activities again. This is exciting stuff, people!
* I was a big old dumbass at work the other night and squatted down to help someone fix a table. My knee was not a happy camper, and I've been trying to take it easy for the last couple of days. Stooooooops.
I can't think of anything else to write. I hope everyone's having a fantastic life, and I'll catch you on the flip side.
Next time:
THE PINK POWER RANGER, OR WHAT DOES HANNAH WANT TO BE WHEN SHE GROWS UP?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)