Thursday, January 29, 2015

Hannah's got a lot of feelings

I am cool with people having their own opinions on stuff. We are so lucky to live in a country where we are able to freely express our thoughts and feelings towards things, and that's awesome. But there are four things in life that you will never be able to change my mind on, and if you disagree with me I believe to the absolute core of my being that you're wrong, and it will probably change how I view you as a person. That being said, here are those things because I know the suspense is killing you.

1. Sexual orientation shouldn't matter when it comes to marriage (or anything else, really). 
Can someone please explain to me how this effects you? Like how a man getting married to another man or a woman marrying a woman personally effects you. Explain to me how it has any sort of impact on your life. I mean, do glitter cannons explode in your house and rainbow banners magically appear each time an LGBT couple gets married? Because I could see how that could get annoying. But if that doesn't happen then I'm going to need you to be quiet. Oh and people who quote the Bible for this need to calm the fuck down because the Bible also says that women who have sex before marriage should be killed and that you shouldn't wear mixed fabric clothing. So unless you're going to start murdering women who have had premarital sex and stop wearing cotton-polyester blends, shut the fuck up and let everyone marry whomever they want. Marriage should be between two people who love each other and want to spend the rest of their lives together, and gender shouldn't be any sort of factor. Kim Kardashian was married for 72 days and spent enough money on that wedding to pay off the student loan debts of every single person that I know and yet two dudes getting married ruins the sanctity of marriage. SO STUPID. 

2. Women should have absolute control over their bodies. 
Here's the thing that gets me with abortions. If they become illegal (again), its not like that's going to stop women from getting them. It'll just make it 10000x sketchier. Back Alley Abortions is not just a shitty band name, its an actual thing and they are not great. Remember that scene in Dirty Dancing when Penny gets the abortion and Patrick Swayze's short friend is trying to describe what happened and he's freaking out about dirty tables and coat hangers and how Penny was screaming and he couldn't help her? Then she looked like absolute death and Baby's dad had to go and save her? THAT IS GOING TO BE REAL LIFE AGAIN IF ABORTIONS BECOME ILLEGAL. Seriously, why is this so hard for everyone to understand?! Also, chill the fuck out with guilting women over the abortions that they have chosen to get. Unless you are the one whose sperm helped create that fetus, her decision about getting an abortion doesn't concern you at all. AT. ALL. So get out of here. Especially if you're a man. There is almost nothing in the world that annoys me more than a man bitching about abortions being the worst thing ever. You can't ever have your life and body completely fucked by an unexpected pregnancy, so get the fuck out of here with that shit.

3. Children should have to be vaccinated. 
I'm about to get so basic with this, because I can't. I can't even. I absolutely cannot with this shit. You know what? If you choose not to vaccinate your kid and then they get some sort of (preventable) disease and die, that's one thing. But if you choose not to vaccinate your kid and another kid gets some sort of (preventable) disease and dies, that makes you responsible for the death of another person's child. There are a lot of kids who can't get vaccinated for legitimate reasons like their immune system being repressed from something like chemo therapy, and do you really want to be the person who is responsible for a doctor having to tell a family that "oh hey yeah your son beat cancer but they're going to die of the measles because little Johnny's parents don't believe in vaccines."?! Do you want to be little Johnny's parents?!? No. Because that makes you the world's biggest asshole. Have you ever heard of this little thing called "herd immunity"? Its where the majority of the group gets vaccinated, which keeps the few who can't be vaccinated (because of age or immune system issues) healthy since nobody gets the infection in the first place. If you take away the vaccines, you take away that safety net for those poor little nuggets. Also nobody can go to Disneyland now because everyone and their mother has the measles, so fuck that noise. And I'll be completely honest, I don't give a shit about your reasons for not vaccinating your child. That stupid doctor who said that vaccines could potentially be responsible for autism retracted his statements, and if you're worried about the long term effects of these things, I'll tell you what they are: YOU DON'T GET A PREVENTABLE DISEASE AND DIE. God. Stop being stupid and get your damn kids vaccinated so the poor kid whose immune system is repressed can go to school without having to worry about getting smallpox or some shit.

4. Predator is the best Arnold movie. 
Do I even have to explain this one? LOOK AT THIS SHIT.