Wednesday, November 19, 2014

Hannah figures out she's basic.

The Basic Bitch Starter Pack, according to Facebook. 
I know its been around for a while, but over the last couple of months, I've noticed an increase in the use of "basic bitch" as an insult. I've used it, but I'll be honest.....I've never been 100% sure of what it meant. Then I was on Facebook yesterday, and someone posted a picture with the description "basic bitch starter pack". I noticed that I own a lot of the things in that picture, which made me a little bit curious and concerned. I looked it up, and there are about 45 different definitions on Urban Dictionary alone, so I had to do a little paraphrasing. From what I can tell, a basic bitch is basically just a girl (usually white) who isn't very unique. Her winter uniform is Uggs, leggings, something Northface (vest or jacket - black), some sort of slouchy beanie (maroon or grey Neff, if Facebook is to be believed), and almost always has a Starbucks beverage in her hand, usually a pumpkin spice latte. She is a big fan of fall, and her Instagram is filled with pictures of colorful leaves (#fall) and selfies with some sort of inspirational quote as a caption (#blessed). A basic bitch aspires to be like Lauren Conrad, and enjoys throwing back a good fruity cocktail during a #girlsnight. She is terrible at parking, and if the internet can be believed, basic bitches from different cities have different defining characteristics. 

Umm.....I'm still confused. Are those things bad? I do most of those things!!!!!! My Uggs keep my feet so nice and cozy, and I love me a good pair of leggings. Everyone who has ever talked to me knows that I have an unhealthy obsession with Starbucks, and I am always in the market for a good vest. I love all things Pumpkin Spice (lattes, candles, lotions, etc.), and I think Lauren Conrad is awesome. Her life is somehow always pretty, and I would love for her to teach me her ways when it comes to making the perfect sock bun. I'm a beer girl, but I can always get behind a vodka cranberry, and there is a bartender at Mia's who makes a drink that tastes exactly like a pineapple upside-down cake, which is by far my favorite drink ever. I also can't park worth crap. After Hondapocalypse of 2012, I drove my grandparents old Suburban and that was a goddamn adventure. There are some differences; I am more partial to Patagonia and Columbia, and my Neff beanie is bright blue. My Instagram doesn't have a single fall picture, but that's mostly due to the fact that I'm a terrible photographer. I'm also not a huge fan of selfies. And while I love pumpkin spice everything, my holiday drink of choice is a creme brûlée latte. I would like to think that personality-wise I'm pretty unique, but clothing wise? I bounce back and forth between basic and looking like a homeless person who happened to break into an Under Armour store. 

So what is so wrong with being a basic bitch? Seriously, every girl I knew in college was at least a little basic. On the opposite side of the spectrum is hipster, and even though I live in Portland, I would rather not look like I fell into my closest and put on everything I touched. Plus basic girls usually smell a lot better. So to my basic sisters, I raise my Starbucks holiday beverage to you. Screw the haters, keep on being comfy, cute and basic. 

No comments:

Post a Comment