Tuesday, February 18, 2014

Hannah goes to Montana

I tried to come up with a clever Hannah Montana joke for the title, but I couldn't. 

So today me, a guy named Bob, and a truck driver named Mike went on an adventure to a ranch out past Broadus, MT (yeah……I'd never heard of it either). I went as a flagger, which means I got to drive one of the pickup trucks with the OVERSIZE LOAD signs on them behind the truck carrying the actual oversized load. We were delivering a piece of farm equipment. Please try to contain your jealousy over how awesome my life is. This is our adventure:

This is what we delivered. I forget what its called. Wind something? I don't know, I wasn't paying attention. Its used to cut hay, and then you go over the hay with another machine that makes it into those fun hay bales you see everywhere. 

I don't know if you guys know this about me, but I'm pretty embarrassing. Seriously, watching me try to function like a normal human being should be a National Geographic special. Its sort of like that time Jessica Simpson was captain of the struggle bus trying to pump gas. Today the main examples of this were the headband and gatorade incidences. 

-I was trying to fix my headband (just one of those little Under Armour ones) while I was driving, and it somehow managed to get caught on my sunglasses, which then fell off, causing the headband to snap over my eyes so I couldn't see anything and looked like the guy from Star Trek. While trying to fix this, I stabbed myself in the eyeball. The fact that I managed to stay on the road is actually pretty incredible. 

-I brought one of those huge bottles of blue gatorade with me as something to drink besides water, and I drank most of it on the drive to Montana. While we were at the ranch, I was standing outside the pickup eating some chips and Mike came up to me. He started to say something, then was like "what are you eating?!" I showed him the bag of chips and he goes "Hannah, what kind of chips stain your mouth blue?!" I was really confused and looked at myself in the mirror. I looked like I had just made out with a smurf. Not only were my lips and tongue blue, but the skin above my lip was also a pretty sweet shade of blue. I was like "uhhh…….I drank some gatorade…….and its blue….." So that was cute. 

When I first found out we were going to the ranch, I was like "oooohhh maybe there will be some super hot rancher working there!" But alas, my life is not a Nicholas Sparks novel, and the rancher was some old dude wearing galoshes. So it really didn't matter very much that my face was blue. Also it was soooo windy, so I mostly just hid in the pickup while Galoshes, Bob, and Mike the truck driver unloaded the thing and reloaded the old piece of equipment that the rancher didn't want anymore. It was pretty magical. 

We were about halfway back when Galoshes called and said he needed help with something, so Bob had to go back and help him. Bob and I had to switch trucks, it was a whole thing. Then all of a sudden I was driving in front of Mike and his oversize truckload, and I sort of started to panic because my sense of direction is absolutely terrible and I'm not the greatest driver. But we made it in one piece, and so did the farm equipment. There was a slight moment of confusion when I almost missed a left turn, but whatever. We made it and Mike told me that he would definitely have me drive with him again next time, so apparently I did something right. 

OH! And we got to use CB radios to talk to each other. I suggested code names, but that idea got shot down. 

I took these pictures at the ranch. Being that isolated from the world is a strange sort of beautiful. 

I made friends with some cows. 

And that was my adventure to Montana.

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