I can't think of a title

Just like Liam Neeson, I have a very particular set of skills. Unlike Liam Neeson, my skill set renders me absolutely useless in the event of a kidnapping. I'm not even kidding. One time when I was in Prague, my friend really did almost get kidnapped and I completely missed the entire thing because I was so focused on the food that I was eating. Obviously, the safety and well-being of my friends is not a high priority in my life when I am eating the heavenly goodness that is Prague street food (Sorry Caitlin). So if they can't be used for saving someone from being snatched up and sold into sex trade, what can my skills be used for?

I HAVE NO IDEA. 

If I had to describe my dream job, it would somehow combine talking about politics, making people laugh, encouraging overweight people to workout (without actually having to workout myself), and hanging out with celebrities. These are all things I'm good at. Well, maybe not the celebrity bit. The handful of times I've seen famous people I've either not recognized them (sorry 2 Chainz), or made them really uncomfortable with how much I fan-girled out (cough Alan Ritchson cough), and then there was that one time in Hawaii where I saw Frankie Munez and kept calling him "Malcolm". I don't even think a job that combines all of those things exists. Well, maybe talk show host, but how do you even get into that? Can someone get me Ellen's phone number? How do I get her to read my blog? Save a bunch of orphans orphans from a house fire and then casually mention it when she invites me onto her show to applaud my heroics? I feel like she would like me a lot more than Oprah. I don't think Oprah would be impressed with a lot of my life choices. Plus, she's already got her hands full with Lindsay Lohan.

I'll be honest………I forgot where I was going with this.